11-22-2020 Simple Breath

Sitting in her chair, GAS softly closed her eyes.  She wasn’t going to sleep, but rather felt more like she was going to wake. 

She could feel her back against the chair, the cats snuggled in close to her legs, one on each side of her, the back of her left leg resting securely on the ottoman in front of her.  Simple Breath. 

Her morning start was gentle.  Let the cats out.  Make a cup of coffee.  Add cream.  Let the cats in.  And now it was “quiet time.”  That is what Suze called it.  Quiet Time. 

“Let’s get God on the field,” she said to the cats.  That is what her teacher, Barbara, had always said at the beginning of a meditation class.  “Let’s get God on the field.” It wasn’t that God was ever not “on the field” but rather that Suze’s mind was too much on the field and Suze knew that Simple Breath could help her to quiet the chatter of her mind. 

It was damp outside, drippy and wet.  In here it was cozy and warm.  Suze settled in and began her quiet time with Simple Breath.  There was nothing to do but attend to her breath.  She didn’t need to count or pace herself, pay attention to any ribs, or foot, but just follow the breath, gently, as it moved in and out like a wave on the beach.  Sometimes she noticed it coming in a bit faster, or more deeply, but taking no thought for that larger wave of breath, she just followed it.  In and out. 

It seemed simple, just attend to breath, but GAS found herself thinking of the birdbath that had been scrubbed by the after school kids last week.  She wished she had taken pictures of them as they did their work.  And the joy of watching the kids watch the birds as they returned to their clean watering hole had pushed the idea of the camera further from her mind. 

Woops...  Where was her attention?  Clearly, she was not attending to her Simple Breath.  So gently, as she would take the hand of a small child, she turned back to her breath.  Judgement free, she followed it in and out, in and out.  She knew that it was the turning back to the Breath, the recognition and the gentle turn, that was the muscle building act.  So, in and out, in and out, like pedals on her bike, up and down. 

Great Aunt Suze had a recumbent bike, one that you sat on like a chair.  When she wasn’t able to be in the garden during the day, she made sure she spent 20 or 30 minutes pedaling before dinner.  She loved to watch TV as she pedaled and had found a number of Zoo shows she could watch.  Suze loved Zoos and her husband, now gone, had been a Zookeeper.  He had cared for zebras and hippos, with the zebras being his favorite.  Even today, long after Norman’s death, there were zebra prints all over the house.  Even the ottoman, where Suze now rested her leg was black and white stripes.  Suze missed Norman and Zoos and the zookeepers on the screen were a sweet connection to her sweet husband. 

Woops...  Where was her attention?  She had been heading out to visit the Tampa Zoo with Norman.  Not now, she thought as she gently turned her attention back to the Simple Breath.  No judgement, actually quite the opposite.  Suze gave herself a pat on the back for catching herself slipping away to the hippo watering hole.  In and out, in and out, in and out...  Gentle breath, Simple Breath.  In and out, in and out...  Time slipped sideways.  In and out, in and out...  The cats snuggled deeper into the slots they had created beside Suze. 

She could feel the pull of the world, requesting her to tend to the tasks of the day.  Now that she was retired, she could wake without her alarm, something that she felt was close to a miracle.  No one had told her that this gentle start to her days would be her favorite part of being retired.  And as the things on her list burbled up with louder and louder voices, Suze put down her Simple Breath practice and turned toward her day.   

The cats were warm, one on each side of her lap, the hot coffee was now warm coffee, and God was on the field.